Ask the wedding expert

Got a question about your upcoming nuptials? Let wedding planner Siobhan Craven-Robins help.

Siobhan Craven-Robins has organised weddings for celebs including Joan Collins and Barbara Windsor. Send in your questions to get a little bit of her expert advice.

Favour boxes

I am looking for something unusual and classy without being very expensive to put in my favour boxes. I don't want to use the usual stuff, as everybody seems to have the same and I'd like to be different.

Shryn

Siobhan answers:

Traditionally, favours are five sugared almonds (representing health, wealth, fertility, happiness and long life) presented in an organza or lace bag. This tradition has evolved over the years, and now wedding favours are anything from miniature spirits to candles.

The boxes are a great idea as these can be co-ordinated to your colour scheme. Typically, these are filled with one or two chocolates.

As you would like to give something a little more unusual to your guests, I would suggest any of these: bath bubbles, miniature soap, plant seeds, pot pourri, a small candle, a tea infusion or even a lottery ticket!

Parish problem

My partner and I are hoping to marry in August 2008. However, we have lived in Guildford since June 2006 but are hoping to marry where both our parents live, in Epsom. We have heard that churches can be strict when it comes to couples who do not live in their parish. We are so confused about what to do as we have seen a perfect place for our reception in our parents' area. Can you give any advice or have you dealt with a similar problem before?

Carly

Siobhan answers:

The Church of England stipulates that one of the couple to be married in the parish is on the electoral role and thereby a member of the parish.

However, there are exceptions to this rule, and the Church of England is currently exploring ways of making it easier for couples to get married in a church outside their parish.

An example might be the parish you grew up in or where your parents live. As both sets of parents live in the parish where you want to marry, it is definitely worth approaching the minister there and asking whether he or she will marry you.

If they agree to this, they will request that you regularly attend the church services in the lead-up to your wedding.

If, for any reason, you are turned down, you have the option of having a marriage blessing. You will marry prior to this (either that day or the day before perhaps) and then the blessing will be performed on your 'wedding day' in front of all your family and friends.

A blessing still includes an exchange of rings and vows; you sing hymns and can include readings in the service. The only difference is that you do not sign a register, as you will have done that when you legally married in the civil ceremony. A blessing can be performed in any parish you wish, provided the minister agrees.

If you have a genuine connection with a particular church but are unable to satisfy the residence requirement to marry there, you may apply to the Faculty Office for the Archbishop of Canterbury's special licence. They are not issued automatically. If you think you need a special licence you should enquire about its availability before making any other preparations for the wedding.

Again, in the first instance, you need to discuss this with the priest who is to conduct the ceremony.

Need some advice?

For more information, visit www.facultyoffice.org.uk and www.cofe.anglican.org.

For all other religious weddings, the requirements are the same as those for a civil marriage. The Church of England is the only denomination that practises the 'parish' rule.

Money is top of our wedding list

My fiancÃ© and I have been living together for a couple of years now so have everything house-wise that we need. As our budget is extremely tight, what we really need is money towards a honeymoon or to pay off our wedding debts!

I've already investigated 'holiday' vouchers from a couple of big-name high street travel agents - but if our guests buy more than the honeymoon costs then the vouchers cannot be refunded - and, besides, we would still have no money for spending on our honeymoon. But it is not the done thing to directly ask for cash for a wedding present - do you have any ideas as to how I can do this tactfully, or any other suggestions as to a honeymoon solution?

Zara

Siobhan answers:

This is not an unusual situation that you are in, but equally not an easy one to resolve. It is still considered impolite to request money as a wedding gift from anyone outside of close family.

In many European countries and in the US, money is often given in place of a gift, but it is not a tradition that we have yet embraced here in the UK.

The fact that you require the money for your honeymoon and wedding makes it even more uncomfortable to request from your guests.

Some couples do require money to go towards larger purchases such as furniture or work done to their new home, and this can be requested in a note accompanying the invitation.

Your situation is slightly different and I think the best thing to do would be to include a note with your invitations saying something along the lines of 'We are lucky enough to have everything we require for our house now, and so have not placed a wedding list with any stores. For gift ideas, please contact...' and give them one of your parents' contact numbers.

With close family, your parents can probably circulate the request for money and with other guests who call they could mention the honeymoon vouchers. This way you will hopefully get some cash and also some vouchers for your honeymoon that will not add up to more than your honeymoon spend.

If you know where you are going on honeymoon, you could check with the hotel to see whether it is possible for your guests to purchase a voucher for dinner or an excursion direct from them that can be presented to you when you arrive at the hotel.

This may have more appeal as the purchaser will know what they are buying you and that you will know it is from them.