Ask the wedding expert
Got a question about your upcoming nuptials? Let wedding planner Siobhan Craven-Robins help.
Siobhan Craven-Robins has organised weddings for celebs including Joan Collins and Barbara Windsor. Send in your questions to get a little bit of her expert advice.
Songs for a civil ceremony
My daughter is getting married on 7 April this year. She has chosen a civil ceremony rather than a church wedding. I'm very happy with the venue she has chosen as it is beautiful, but my one problem is that I love hymns.
I have been told that nothing religious is allowed at the ceremony, so I'm looking for a suitable song to sing. There will be a string quartet playing at the ceremony too.
Debra
Siobhan answers:
This is a difficult one as the songs most well known and best sung by a group of people are hymns!
Have you considered a soloist to perform at the wedding ceremony? He or she could sing a well-known operatic or theatre piece. This will certainly add to the occasion of the ceremony and your guests will enjoy listening to a favourite piece of music.
If you would like your guests to sing, I would suggest one of the following:
Evergreen
Love Changes Everything
When I Fall in Love
A Whole New World
Do speak to the registrar as well to see whether they have any suggestions for you.
If you want some idea of the classical musicians and singers available for weddings, I can recommend www.classicalassociates.co.uk. They have a fabulous repertoire of musicians and will also be able to give you advice on what would be appropriate for the type of ceremony your daughter is having.
Shoestring wedding
My partner and I are hoping to get married towards the end of the year. We only have a budget of £5,000. It's a second marriage for both of us and, although we only want to invite family and close friends, the guest list still totals 65 people.
We'd like a church wedding if possible, even though we're both divorced. However, we don't know whether we will have enough money even for a basic wedding. Please help.
Angel, Essex
Siobhan answers:
It really depends on the sort of wedding you want. Church fees average around £450 so that is already almost 10 per cent of your budget gone.
It is not impossible to stay within your budget but you are going to have to think through everything you want for your wedding and then look at the costs. My tips to help you are:
- Photography: This usually starts from £800 for a professional photographer. Research a local college that offers a photography course and see whether they have a student available to photograph your day.
This will cost a fraction of the price and you will also get either all your negatives or a disc of the images at the end. You can then develop and display the photographs yourself. I would recommend this over having a friend photograph the day, as it is a big responsibility for them and they also miss out on a lot of the fun of the day.
- Dress: Consider hiring this or buying from the high street. Berketex (www.bbride.com) carries a reasonably priced range of dresses.
- If you require music for the ceremony, contact a music college; they have musicians they can provide for a nominal fee. For dancing, a DJ is cheaper than a band.
- The reception is the most costly element of a wedding. A more informal gathering, such as an afternoon tea or BBQ, can work out considerably cheaper. You should also limit drinks to wine and beer so your guests are not drinking expensive spirits.
The venue may also allow you to bring in your own alcohol for a corkage fee. This can sometimes, though not always, work out less expensive.
- Do you know someone who could do the flower arrangements for you? For table centres think of using candles as these work out cheaper than flowers and you could do these yourself.
- Your cake does not need to be three-tier for 65 guests. You only need one tier.
I hope that helps!
Mature brides
I need some advice on weddings for the more mature bride. I am 57 years old and am finding that the only bridal information available is directed at young, slim girls. What can you suggest for a mature, not-so-slim lady?
Stella
Siobhan answers:
Yes, bridal information is mainly aimed at young women, as they are the majority readers of such magazines. However, most established bridal-wear suppliers carry dresses suitable for all ages and sizes.
Couture bridal designers Suzanne Neville (www.suzanneneville.com), Neil Cunningham (www.neilcunningham.com) and Pronovias (www.pronovias.com) all carry beautiful, elegant designs that suit the more mature bride.
On the high street, bridal supplier Berketex (www.bbride.com) carries a comprehensive range of wedding dresses available off the peg.
Rather than relying solely on magazines for inspiration, go to visit some of these designers and you will feel more encouraged and excited.
Another option is to have something made from scratch. Many of my 'over 50' brides whose weddings I have co-ordinated have chosen this option. They had a good idea of what suited them and wanted to have a wedding outfit especially created for them. It is worth approaching a local dressmaker and discussing your ideas with them. Do ask to see some of their work and references so you feel assured of the quality of the finished dress.
If you are feeling baffled about what to wear, a stylist is a great option, and they can help you with your wedding dress and honeymoon wardrobe if required. Penny Sloane (call 07795 412220 or email pennysloane@btinternet.com) is fantastic. She has a wealth of knowledge and is so enthusiastic. A day at the shops with her is therapy in itself!
It may also be worth you visiting the evening-dress section in department stores; you may well find the perfect dress there.
As far as your wedding goes, the day should be a true reflection of you and your fiancé, and so you must host the type of wedding you want, be it a civil or religious ceremony, at a location you love. The reception could be a huge dinner party, a BBQ, an afternoon tea or a party until 3am. The choice is yours!
A wild wedding or a conventional ceremony?
I want a wild and adventurous wedding but I'm getting frowns from family and friends. Do you have any ideas for how I can combine conventional with 'out there' to keep everyone happy?
Danielle, Battersea
Siobhan answers:
The ceremony is the most important and sombre part of the wedding day; it is, after all, what it's all about. You could maybe think of having your ceremony somewhere a little bit different, such as the London Eye (call 0870 220 2223 or visit www.londoneye.com), or if you think of having a humanist ceremony, this can be performed at a location of your choice.
With a humanist ceremony you have far more input on the structure of your wedding blessing and can incorporate the sort of music, poetry or readings that you feel are more in keeping with the two of you.
I think that if the ceremony is conducted with the dignity that should be lent to such an occasion, then any kind of wild party afterwards will not meet with too much objection. I did one wedding that had a similar dilemma, and after the ceremony we arranged afternoon tea for the family while guests went to a bar - and then the family left and the party really started!
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